Whenever anyone mentions ‘magnetic personality’ the first thing that comes to you is envy. You want to be like that. Never mind that you would probably scratch your head for a second if someone asked you to define it. What exactly is a magnetic personality?
The best way to answer this question is by describing a scenario you have probably been in many times before. You are at a networking event, you are all in a room making chit chat in several little clusters. A well-dressed gentleman walks into the room and begins to chat with a few people. He is not particularly good looking and is not a celebrity of any kind but he seems to attract everyone’s attention.
A few people seem to gravitate towards him, leaving their little clusters to join his. When you do the same you notice how intriguingly likeable and energetic he is. He seems to exude a rare confidence, even happiness which you want to be around. That is a magnetic personality.
Developing a Magnetic Personality
You can develop a magnetic personality. The gentleman you met and envied was not always like that. He learned how to be as such. These are some habits you could pick up in your journey towards developing a magnetic personality.
This had to be the first trait we mention because none of the others can be quite effective without it. It really is a fundamental trait of magnetic or charismatic people. By simply walking with your head held high, you are telling other people you believe in yourself. When you believe in yourself, others start to believe in you.
Be Energetic and Enthusiastic
Magnetic personalities always have an extra dose or two of energy. They are enthusiastic about life even when others a dampened by events around them. When you are enthusiastic about whatever it is that is in front of you, you electrify your surrounding with the same energy. People around you are attracted to this energy.
Maintaining an energetic and enthusiastic vibe requires you to learn how to challenge negativity in your life. As long as you are breathing, you will face some kind of negativity. It could be internal or external. Deal with external negativity by avoiding pessimistic, unkind people. Internal negativity can be dealt with by learning to identify and counter negative thoughts especially about yourself.
Make people feel good about themselves
The easiest way to make someone feel good about themselves is compliments but these can sometimes come off as forced and insincere. If you have to compliment someone, let it be about something unique and not just their clothes or hair.
Be deliberate about inspiring people whenever you can. If you know that someone is struggling to grow a small business, tell them an inspiring story about perseverance in business. Whichever way you choose to do it, always leave people feeling good about themselves after interacting with them.
You will be amazed at how magnetic this is. It’s not just about being nice. There is some brain science at work. We call them neuro-associations. These are links your mind creates between your experiences and the emotions connected to them. Experiences which have elicited positive emotions like joy and happiness in the past ‘fire and wire’ a positive neuro-association in your brain.
When you have found ways to make people feel good about themselves in the past, the next time they meet you, their brains ‘fire and wire’ positive neuro-associations. This is what makes people want to be around a magnetic personality.
Beware of your body language
Body language says a lot more than you think. Research shows that body language communicates about 55% of the message. The way in which we speak communicates 38%. If you thought the actual words carry much of the message, think again. The words we say convey only 7% of the message.
Some body language habits to avoid include:
- Looking at the floor when speaking or being spoken to. It makes you look inconfident.
- Crossing your arms over your chest. It makes you appear unapproachable.
- You appear rude and disrespectful. As though you don’t consider the person speaking to you to be particularly important.
Magnetic personalities have learned how to use positive body language such as smiling and maintaining eye contact to attract people to themselves.
Master conversation skills
No one ever became a charismatic personality by sitting alone at a corner saying nothing to anyone. A big part of this skill lies in conversation. A person with a magnetic personality can make and maintain conversation with anyone. It doesn’t matter if it is the world famous business tycoon he met at a conference or a homeless guy at a street corner.
Truth be told, it can be hard to maintain conversation with certain people. That is how you find yourself in awkward small talk. This rarely happens to magnetic personalities and it is not by accident. It takes effort and foresight.
Here are a few ways to sharpen your conversational skills.
Be ready and willing to engage
When you go to a social gathering, be mentally prepared to engage with other people. It will do you no good to sit at a corner looking at your friends ‘Instagram posts simply because you don’t feel like talking to people.
Stay up to date on current affairs
Chances are you will be talking about something that was on the news a few days ago. It helps to keep abreast on what is going on in the country and in the world because these are the easiest conversation topics to start with.
Identify a CPI
Once you are done with current affairs, you don’t want to go blank. By this time you should have identified one or a few CPIs. CPI stands for Common Point of Interest. When you meet someone new, learn to identify a CPI as soon as possible.
If you are at a professional event, a likely CPI is the industry you work in. Make conversation out of that. If you are at a parents ‘event at your child’s school, an easy CPI is your children. Talk about parenting.
Myths about Magnetic Personality
It’s a natural gift
Many people believe that a magnetic personality is a natural gift. You either have it or you don’t. That is not entirely true. It is a skill like any other. Yes, some people are more tuned in that direction by virtue of their personality. Even then, it is something you can learn and prefect over time whether you are naturally inclined as such or not.
You have to be an extrovert to be a magnetic personality
Not necessarily. In fact many magnetic personalities in history were introverted. They learned the skill and put it to productive use. Infamous personalities like Mahatma Gandhi, Warren Buffet and Michael Jordan are known to be introverts.
Developing a magnetic personality can be very useful in your career, your business and even in personal relationships. Learning this skill helps you stand out of a crowd and attract attention without seeming to try.
It is however a skill like any other. It takes time and effort to learn and requires practice to perfect. You cannot become magnetic personality overnight. Don’t worry if it feels like a herculean task at first. Those who have successfully learned it say it gets easier with time. The results are worth every effort.